Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The conversation

This picture was sent to me by my husband and I couldn't resist sharing it with you. It's entitled "The Conversation," which he discovered on Reddit, a very interesting website that gives people the opportunity to share all kinds of information with others who might be interested. This picture is at first startling, then you realize these two creatures are obviously separated by a pane of glass, but they are definitely communing. I wonder what is going on in those heads?

Which leads me to a question I have for you, my dear readers. You can answer, or not, but I realize that one of the reasons I write is to be able to find out what I think. Judith Warner has written a column for the New York Times for years, called "Domestic Disturbances." She wrote her final column this week, and here's a (to me) relevant quote from it:
Often, writing here, I didn’t know fully what I felt — about things going on in my own life — until I read what I’d written. And very often I didn’t understand what I’d written until I heard it coming back at me.
Well said, Judith. I think this is what blogging is all about for me. I'm trying to understand why I am writing here, why we all are writing here. I think it's important to ask this question now and then, and sometimes I am surprised by the comments you make. We all have such different lives, and I enjoy the variety so much. You often give me a template to understand decisions I've made in a different light.

The conversation we share is personal, within limits, because we are all out there hanging out in cyberspace where anybody can read what we write. I censor myself sometimes and try to keep controversy to a minimum. You don't know my politics, my religion, whether I have ever done anything illegal, or even if I've gone skinny dipping. It's because I am afraid of offense, or worse yet, having it come back to me as it did to Andrew Feldmar in 2007. He is a Canadian psychotherapist who is barred from ever entering the United States again because he used LSD in 1967 (when it was legal). The border guard googled him and a paper he had written came up.
He has been married to Meredith Feldmar, an artist,  for 37 years, and they live in Vancouver's Kitsilano neighbourhood. They have two children, Soma, 33, who lives in Denver, and Marcel, 36, a resident of L.A. Highly respected in his field, Feldmar has been travelling to the U.S. for work and to see his family five or six times a year.
Not any more. Here's a link to a fascinating Alternet article that tells the whole story. He tried everything to regain the ability to come into the United States again with no luck. If you have ever admitted to any drug use, and they find out because you wrote about it, well, too bad. So I try hard not to write about anything offensive or remotely controversial.

I know that if the border guard were to google my name, this website would come up, along with several others from the time I was on the Board of Directors of the United States Parachute Association. It's really sad that we here in the United States cannot hold conversations even in our emails that are totally and completely private. I guess we can thank the Department of Homeland Security for that.

Now before I go off on a rant, I just wanted to say this to you: I cherish your comments and am really happy that our conversations are as open and honest as they are. My readers give me a sense of community that would be otherwise lacking in my life. I love to read about your exploits and strive to make my posts interesting. My question: given the parameters laid out, what can I tell you about me that you don't know and want to know? I sometimes wonder that about you, as I try to glean the person behind your own blog posts. Who are you really?


  1. And that my dear is each persons own perception!

  2. I believe no one can ever know another person because we all live our lives alone in our own heads. Everyone's perception is different about the world. That's what makes life so difficult sometimes. Everyone interprets the world in their own way. Not right or wrong...just individually.

  3. All of us give clues as to who we are through our writing. It's interesting when I spot a clue. If I know nothing more about you it is that you are definitely a real adventurer. In another time, you would be on the Mayflower. :D

  4. Interesting thought. I tend to not censor myself in my blog, but I'm sure you have figured that out by now! ;) I am very careful about privacy of others, I don't think I have the right to reveal things about other people that they might not choose to tell the world. Anything I write about my husband, I run by him first.

    I'm sure if border patrol were to Google me, they'd hand my some Lysol to help with the poop and send me on my way...

  5. Wow, that is really interesting... something I didn't know! A border guard googling a name?? Wow.

    I don't talk about my family too much for obvious reasons. It is a very public forum. I do try to talk about my aspirations to become a better human being. This is something I hope will resonate with others and we can inspire each other. I visit you for that very reason. You are an inspirational person. What you share about yourself is open and honest and we all appreciate that. I hope I do the same thing - share myself with openess and honesty. Now I'm going to google my name is see if anything comes up...

  6. Hello DJ, your blog is very thought provoking. Yeah sometimes I thought about the same thing, asking myself who am I, why am I writing. At first I didn't know that I can write. Write the things that interests me, the things that makes me happy. It is so sad that I can't write well whenever I am so happy haha, which sometimes looks weird. I can write well when I am so low that I don't know where I get the words that I write, it just happen spontaneously!

    The blog that I am writing is all about me, myself. if you think and feel that I am funny, yes I am. If you think like I am silly, yes I am at times. This is just me.

    Have a Merry Christmas my friend.


  7. That is why I journal; it allows me to vent and rage and not worry about who will read it. When I look back at it all (as I do every so often) I am able to track my personal growth.
    I agree about writing to figure out how you feel. Often when I write I'm able to do so without thinking so I tend to get an unfiltered picture of what I am really feeling.
    Really I love getting on here and reading what everyone else writes; it inspires me.

  8. Pretty scary, isn't it? The internet is wonderful, but holds a lot of danger as well...Gosh...don't even know what I'd ask you...I'll have to think about that one a bit...as I want to make sure none of my questions are controversial ;-) LOL...Would love to hear more about your work background though...it sounds simply fascinating!!!

    And I will say, as far as my blog is concerned, what you see is what you get...so what you read about me on my blog is the unvarnished me...I've NEVER been good at pretenses...Have a wonderful Christmas, dear DJan!!! Love you! Janine XO

  9. This is a very thought provoking post. I have had similar thoughts - wondering how readers view me through my blog. It reminds me of the three psychic parts of self. Our blogs let us show only that part of ourself that we want others to see and the bad parts we keep hidden.
    The blog world is so diverse, it is hard to know sometimes how much to share without risking offending someone. I think you do a fantastic job with your posts. They are always interesting. Just be yourself and let us know whatever you are comfortable with sharing.

  10. A very interest post DJan, there is no privacy on the internet. Since I have crossed the border on several occasions either I haven't been goggled or they found me boring.

    My blogs are all photography based so I suppose I don't share a lot of information. But any of my long time followers have likely learned quite a bit about me.

    Who am I really? Heck, I haven't even figured that out yet! Maybe someday we will go hiking together and discuss the universe and life in general.


  11. When I find out who I am, I'll let you know. Until then you'll have to ask matron! I am always aware that anyone can read my Blog and I have had incidents where this has back-fired on me so I don't speak very openly. I want to but I hold back.
    I enjoyed thinking about this post.
    Blessings, Star

  12. Well..I am your basic old cranky woman on her very own adventure..I do censor..cause I can be a potty mouth especially if I am quite excited. I do have a weirdly strange sense of humor some days. What you see is what you get..:)

  13. Very interesting subject here.
    Sometimes I think it is better NOT to know bloggers on too close of a level because it is freer for us to communicate things we might have guarded if we knew too much of each other...but at other times I really am curious to know the person on a more personal level so that when they vent I know the history of their pain..or when they celebrate, I know the depth of their joy.


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