Tuesday, September 5, 2023

September skies

Squalicum Harbor

Now that we are into the unofficial days of fall, the temperatures are moderating, and the skies are beginning to look a lot more interesting, as you can see here. I took this last Saturday while walking by myself. The long holiday weekend is now behind us, and I am very glad to be looking forward to weather that is more comfortable for me. I don't really mind the sun, but it's so much nicer when it's not mid-July, with endlessly long days and short nights. We are just a few weeks away from the actual autumnal equinox (September 22), when the days and nights are at equal lengths. After that, the nights will be longer than the days until we get to the winter solstice.

I have already begun to see leaves changing color, which surprised me. I didn't think it would start so soon. Maybe this year we'll have spectacular color and I can capture the display in photos. I can hope, anyway.

I just listened to an interesting podcast about being kind to oneself. It was an interview with Kristin Neff, who has written several books about the prospect of developing self-compassion. She's got a cool website with plenty of information about how to attend some of her workshops, held around the country as well as virtually. From that website:
Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available to us, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing. It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals not because we’re inadequate, but because we care and want to be happy. 

Who doesn't want to be nice to ourselves? Well, it turns out that most of us would never treat a friend the way we often treat ourselves when we make a mistake or are ashamed of something we've done (or not done). I know I am much harder on myself than I am on others. So I've decided to treat myself better, more like I would treat a friend. Maybe before it's all over, I'll have forgiven myself for past actions that make me wince when I recall them. 

How about you? Do you easily forgive yourself when you've made a mistake? If so, please feel free to share that information in this safe space. I'm tired of figuratively kicking myself!



  1. Thank you for sharing your beautiful skyscape. I am very, very bad at self care. And worse at compassion for myself. It feels both selfish and self indulgent. A work in progress. Sadly I am not getting much better at it, but will continue to try. I am currently not a friend to myself.

  2. Djan, lovely photo of the harbor and I plan to check out that website. You really made me smile here with your offer to share something one can't easily forget or forgive oneself for, so you don't feel alone. I have 101 little guilt-trips circling my head, some for things from 20 years ago. I would've forgiven someone else who made them without a second thought.

  3. That setting is incredible. Being out in nature and enjoying every minute is my way to be easy on myself. Living in the moment really helps.

  4. Your harbor shot is beautiful ... would make a wonderful puzzle!
    One must forgive themselves for past mistakes and their errors in judgement so they can live a life of fulfillment rather then regret!
    However, the memories continue on ... good, bad or otherwise!

  5. I have a few incidents that make me wince when I think of them but not many. They tend to be when I was very young and inexperienced.

  6. Very nice photo. it is temporarily scorching here, but it's not been a terribly hot summer overall.

  7. I've gotten much better as I age at being kinder to myself, but I still have to silence that inner critic at times. s, it's sad how we can often forgive others easier than ourselves.

  8. I can't think of any self guilt I am carrying around. Just as I don't hold grudges against others, I guess I don't hold them against myself either. I do try to fix mistakes.

  9. Some memories are harder to shake than others. Sometimes I wince when I recall them, because I wish I had reacted differently...but we learn from mistakes or small errors in judgement and go on and do better. Yes be kinder to yourself! Nothing to lose and much to gain!

  10. I have lived much of my life catering to others and worrying about how to make others happy and well. I am finally setting up my living spaces to suit me in my pursuit of doing what I want, when I want, and how I want. And I want to be alone - even though the advice is to socialize.

    In fact, just this week, I (hopefully) broke off ties with a "friend" of over 50 years. It has become a relationship of put downs and meanness. I don't need that anymore - and in breaking off, I am treating myself well. It feels like relief. No forgiveness needed (unless we make up, lol.)

  11. I think being kind to oneself is important. But I agree that it's easier to forgive others then ourselves.


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