 |
| Stewart and PJ |
I wondered what I might write about today, and thought about the date, and suddenly realized that it would have been my sister PJ's seventy-fifth birthday, had she not died of heart disease when she was 63. Here she is with her husband, Stewart, not long after her birthday in 2011.
PJ (her name is Patricia June) was born when I was seven. I still remember the day she joined the family, because when I learned that I had a second sister, I went into our backyard and climbed a favorite tree, spending some time trying to fathom how my life might change because of her birth. It didn't seem all that much, partly because I was always playing with Norma Jean, my sister who was two-and-a-half years younger than me. I suppose I must have had to babysit sometimes, but all that is lost in the mists of time. PJ, though, was a constant presence in my life from the time she was born until I left home at 18.
PJ was someone who read almost as many books as our mother. She always had at least one, but usually more, books open and being read. She was a true seeker of knowledge and spent much of her life taking care of others, raising two boys to adulthood, and volunteered much of her time to those less fortunate. She ended up with four grandchildren (I might have been a little jealous) and was always making her own jewelry and small pictures to give away. I still have some things she made for me; I can't really throw them away because she made them and they are all I have that still exists of her, but they are stuck in a drawer somewhere. That, and lots of pictures taken over the years. When I gathered to be with my siblings to celebrate her life, I wrote my own personal celebration of her life. Just now, I re-read it and remembered who she was to me and to all those whose lives she touched.
When someone has died, do we still mark the day as a birthday? Or is it simply a reminder that twelve years ago, she left this earth to start the next adventure? I wonder. There will probably not be a resolution to that question for me, but maybe once I am finally lying on my own deathbed and gazing at the faces of those sending me off to my next adventure, she might be there, peeking mischievously out from behind the others.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. —Dr. Seuss
I m not sure, I would have to keep track...I know the week loved ones have died but most likely not the date. After awhile I think the death date is forgotten and their birthday remains because it was celebrated every year. I recall my parents death dates now...but they are recent deaths in 2022 and 2024. I hope people remember my birthday because with out it I wouldn't be around and they wouldn't know what they missed:)
ReplyDeleteWe remember people on their birthdays. You have great memories of you sister.
ReplyDeleteI know I remember some birthdays, like my parents and my siblings. Those are the birthdays we personally celebrated and they are a way to remember our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed learning more about your sister PJ.
Sad to lose a sister long ago or recently. Sending hugs. My family remembers their birthdays and the day they were gone. We lost a grandgirl last year to a car/bike accident a day before her birthday so the two will be linked in our memories. She was a lively, imaginative girl not quite 21. I think it's great to celebrate the day they came into the world.
ReplyDeleteI have never lost anyone younger than me, except for a brother-in-law whom I wasn't close with for many years before he passed. It must be difficult when the younger ones leave first. But you have experienced this more than most, I think.
ReplyDeleteDJan, I always think of family members on their birthdays... even now long after they are gone. So, remembering PJ on her birthday is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteBut this Friday would have been our youngest grandson's 18th birthday... and that one is a bit much for me. Thinking how you have lost 2 children is hard for me to imagine.
But I find comfort in feeling similar to your words - that they have gone on to their next great adventure. (And I also have "Don't cry because it's over... Smile because it happened" written on my wall) .
Hugs.
DeleteI still remember their birthdays. And hope I always will.
ReplyDeleteI remember the people who have died on their birthdays. More celebratory, I think. I don't tend to remember the dates of when people have died. But we always remember them. :)
ReplyDeleteI remember the birthdays too. This is a lovely remembrance of PJ. Take care, Jan.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that PJ died so young. On March 2, I told a friend that March 2 would've been my mother's 109th birthday. She died at age 99 ten years ago.
ReplyDeleteI always remember my sister's birthday because it is my half birthday. She was 17 1/2 years old when I born. She would have turned 90 this year. I really miss her.
ReplyDeleteMy granddaughter died when she was eight, and I always take flowers and sometimes balloons to her grave. It's been 16 years since she died, but I will continue to do that until I'm unable.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a kind read, DJan. 🙂❤️
ReplyDelete