Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Life changes and loss


Praying for Lily

Anybody who has followed me for any length of time knows by now how much I enjoy routine. Our lives have been upended by Covid, but until yesterday (when this was taken), I could at least gather outdoors with my coffee buddies for conversation and more. Right after this was taken, John drove down south to Seattle for his pre-operation procedures. On Thursday, he'll have a major operation on his right shoulder, replacing much of it and rebuilding the rotator cuff. He's been hampered by both shoulders being very painful and unable to function very well at all. Starting today (Tuesday), he'll start staying away from any gatherings like this and will be staying with a lady friend for a couple weeks afterwards. By the time he comes back, our outside gatherings will be over for the season.

And yesterday, I learned that my friend Lily's mother passed away. Lily is from Guatemala, and she will be unable to travel back home to say goodbye. We are all heartbroken for her, but Lily is glad that her mother is no longer in pain and has other family members around to take care of the necessary details. Her mother had esophageal cancer, which had been successfully treated, until it returned and she decided not to go through it again. Lily and her family are in our prayers.

And I forgot yesterday to write this post. I've been following a two-times-a-week schedule, and, well, oops. Maybe it's time to just go with the flow and write whenever I feel like it! But I am one of those people who does better with routine, so maybe I'll see where all this goes. Right now Thursday is the only post that I absolutely won't miss. It's been more than a decade now that my Thursdays are reserved for hikes. And a post. 



  1. I loved my routine too. Now I’m on a COVID routine and it’s not fun. I’m so sad for Lily. How awful not to be able to be with her mom during her struggle and with family to grieve. Please stay safe, DJan. It’s scary. Just learned last night in the news that the town next to ours is one of those heavily infected.

  2. I feel like a bit of an intruder here, as I've always known you as "the Sunday blogger" at Eyes on the Edge--but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your friend Lily's great loss and hope that John's operation goes well. My gosh, his sounds painful. Well DJan, you're such a kind & interesting person, I wish we lived closer so I could meet you for coffee and a talk as well.

  3. I am also a lover of routine. I feel just 'wrong' when my routines are interrupted.
    I hope that John's operation and recovery go really well and feel (so much) for Lily.

  4. I will continue with my car coffee dates(hopefully) unless we have a lot of rainy weather. I don't have any routine for blogging except for several months during the beginning of the pandemic when I wrote every day. So sorry about your friend's mom, although it sounds like she is at peace with it.

  5. I hope all goes well for John. For so many different reasons Covid has changed our lives.

  6. Keeping John in my thoughts and prayers, I hope all goes well with his operation.
    So sad to know that Lily's mother passed and she is unable to say her goodbyes in person. I went through the same when my mum passed, but I feel she knew I was with her in spirit.
    Yes, COVID has changed all of our lives, sadly.

  7. COVID has indeed changed our lives and our final goodbyes. Lily's story has been all too frequent.
    John's pre-surgery precautions are also a change.
    I just had a dental exam in preparation for hip replacement surgery in January. It requires a dental clearance. I have the clearance now but the earliest I can get the cleaning done is December 18th, because due to Covid cleaning is not a priority. But it needs to be done 30 days before surgery. We're cutting it close. And I will have my own pre surgery quarantine.

  8. I am feeling the same about my three posts a week. Since our lives have gotten so small this last seven months, I am less inspired to write.

    Wishing John a safe and successful surgery and quick recovery. It is never easy to lose your mother. I feel Lily’s sadness.

  9. Shoulders and rotator cuff problems are very painful. They seldom do things with a bad shoulder. this is extreme when they rebuild . I wish him some very good results.

  10. COVID has changed everyone's life. And so much of the sorrow and deaths could have been prevented.

  11. Indeed, the weather has already become problematic for outdoor meetups hereabouts. I do hope we manage one or two more, but then what?

    Our government has finally come up with a plan to allow some reunification of people, such as non-married couples, who have been stuck on opposite sides of the border.

  12. I am so sorry about Lily not being able to even visit her mother during her last days. The separation of loved ones has to be one of the hardest penalties of this disease.
    I do hope John's surgery goes smoothly. I have had rotator cuff problems off and on and know how debilitating it can be and his sounds so much worse. Hope you are all soon back to your table solving the world's problems.

  13. Wishing John well. And I am so sorry that Lily will not be able to attend a private service for her mother.

  14. The only routine left in my life is my Monday blog-newsletter. I need to have more routine, I think...and I am working on it.

    So sorry Lily can't go to say good-bye to her mom. I know it is hard to deal with. Due to my health since 2004 and being 250+ miles away from Minneapolis where the rest of my family is I have had to miss weddings, births, the funerals of an aunt, uncle, my dad...and surgeries of my son because he has to have them done down in The Cities. My heart goes out to her. But they know she would be there if she could.

    Good luck to Jon with his surgery. I'm glad he has someone to stay with afterwards. I pray all goes well and he heals quickly.

    (Your Sunday posts have always been my very favorites!) Best to you and yours. :)

  15. It's all so sad to read your friend losing her mother to cancer and not being able to say goodbye. And routine is important to so many. Me? I like routine, but also like to change things often.

  16. Dear DJan, I, too, will pray for Lily and her mother and family. It's wonderful that Lily can look at this loss and find good--that her mother is no longer suffering. That's inspiring.

    As to routine: I've sort of let it rule my life because I get overwhelmed when there's too much coming at me. But I'm trying now to go with the flow of the day and simply be in the moment. I've been trying to do that now for 50 years--since leaving the convent! Perhaps now at this late stage, I will let go and simply be. I know what you mean about sticking to the Thursday routine. It's sort of like a nail that pinned us to something each week. I think of your Sunday posting that way. Peace.

  17. I too hope your friend John's surgery goes well and he will be able to rejoin your coffee group in the near future. I also send my thoughts and prayers to Lily for the loss of her mother. As for routine, yes it is good - but changing it up a bit here and there doesn't hurt. These are strange times.

  18. Prayers for Lily and her family...it would be so hard not to go back home too say goodbye and have the comfort of being with family.
    My best to John as he undergoes surgery. Hope all goes well for him!
    Stay safe!

  19. New routines for new times. Probably good for us in some ways. I have actually enjoyed being at home with no obligations or demands on my time. That appears to be changing as there are plans afoot to read to the kids at Columbia via teleconferencing.

    So sad that your friend could not return home for her mother's funeral, however, didn't she go to visit earlier in the fall? Better to see the person while they are still alive.


I really appreciate your comments! If you see a word verification box here, just ignore it. I don't use the darn thing and Blogger is trying to get us to use it, I guess. Ignore it and your comment will still appear.