Four little words

Snagged from Linda's blog

Ah, summer fruits! There is nothing that looks more delightful to my eyes than fresh fruit and veggies from a Farmers' Market. My friend Linda, who lives in Seattle, has a lovely collection of photos she took during a recent visit to a local Farmers' Market. I enjoyed the pictures so much that I asked for permission to use this one. Fortunately for you, the pictures cannot be eaten, which would destroy the beauty, don't you think? I love the bounty we have in the Pacific Northwest during the summer.

And so far, this year, we have only had a small assortment of really hot days. We are experiencing one today, Tuesday the 12th, but tomorrow promises to bring us cool and rainy weather. It will be the last day before my cancer surgery on Thursday.

There is not much else on my mind. By mid-morning on Thursday, I should have a better idea of how much this squamous cell carcinoma has invaded my neck. It could be just a little, or it could be a lot. The way Mohs surgery works is that a slice (a "shave") of tissue is removed and sent to the lab. This will continue until there are no more signs left of the cancer, and then you're sewed up, bandaged, and sent home to recuperate.

The four little words in my title? Well, they are "how deep" and "how wide" did it all end up being? At this point, nobody knows and the doctor will use her expertise to take up as little as possible, but still trying to make sure to get it all. It is not an exact science, but it is considered to be the gold standard in treating and removing skin cancers. I am told that the procedure will take all day and to be ready for it to be long and tedious. Each tissue sample must be evaluated before moving on to the next. And there are other people going through it as well, at the same time.

The month of August always seems to have been been a significant time in my life. I was pregnant during my first August as a married woman. My first son, Chris, was born in November, but he died on August 15th, many years later. My second son, Stephen, was born on the same day. There was a time when I had two sons, both living, during their August birthdays. Now they are both gone, and have been for a long time. But a mother never forgets those birthdays, no matter how long it has been.

Now that I have lived a full life, become an octogenarian, and have finally gone through the experience of having developed cancer, I have joined the myriad others who have gone before me. It might be just a blip, gone forever, or it might be the beginning of another journey. We are all traveling the timeline of destiny, whether we want to or not.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get so maudlin. I didn't sleep well last night because it was so hot, but I suspect that tonight I'll sleep like a baby. Next week will be here before we know it!

:-)