Tuesday, February 4, 2014

In sunny Florida, but not for long

Norma Jean, Icarus, and golf cart
I arrived here in Florida after a fairly grueling day of travel, but the really hard part has been all the family turmoil going on behind the scenes. My sister PJ passed away late Saturday or early Sunday. I found out about it while I was writing my usual Sunday morning post on my other blog. I was almost finished with it and at the last minute I found a picture of PJ that I took at our last reunion and posted it. After a flurry of back-and-forth telephone calls, it was decided that I would go ahead and travel to Florida and once we knew the plans for the week, we would fly to Texas to be with our family as we arrange for a memorial for her. PJ's two sons and her husband are in charge of details, and Norma Jean and I will fly out of here on Thursday, the day after tomorrow, to a very cold and blustery Dallas area.

Norma Jean and my sister in Canada will both return home on Monday, and I will stay in Texas with my relatives there until my original return flight on the 12th. So, it's today and tomorrow here, then off to deal with the trauma we are all facing regarding the loss of the first sibling of six of us. I thought it was last fall when PJ had a serious heart attack, but I learned it was actually in the spring, and she had survived for almost a year before succumbing to another, final episode on Saturday. She was rushed to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do for her.

Last night the family all had a group call on Skype (audio only) and we worked out the details of when we would have the memorial service. It looks like it will be this Saturday. There just didn't seem to be any reason for me to return to Florida for one day and then travel back home the day after that. This is not the vacation I was expecting, but one does what one must when life's exigencies require it. Three years ago, I spent three weeks with Norma Jean after her husband Pete died, and now this. At least we will all be together and can support each other through this trying time.

Today and tomorrow I will make an attempt to soak up as much of the Florida sunshine as I can. This morning I joined Norma Jean in her usual swim at the Y, although I was only able to swim for half as long as she did. Tomorrow we will do the same, and then early on Thursday we will travel to Texas to be with the rest of our siblings and their family. This morning we went through all the old family pictures Norma Jean had from over the years, looking for pictures of our sister to share with the others, captured moments with PJ that the others might not have seen.
Patricia June Stewart Merrill 1950–2014
I took this picture of PJ at our Thanksgiving feast in 2012. It was the last time that the six of us were all together, and although it will be hard, we will share the sorrow with one another, and remember the very special person she was. I will probably miss my usual Thursday post because of travel, but you never know. Be well, hug your family, and give thanks for this wonderful day, until we meet again.
:-}

24 comments:

  1. i am so very sorry, djan. i am glad that you and norma jean can travel here together. i do hope your family can find comfort in each other as you grieve and remember - and celebrate life, too.

    i know how hard it is to lose a sibling. i lost a sis 13 yrs ago when she was only 47. it is a blow to a family unit that is different than losing a parent. suddenly, we are all so vulnerable and so precariously here one day and might not be the next. even losing brothers and sisters-in-law cannot compare.

    anyway, please accept my deepest condolences.

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  2. and safe travels to all of you to dallas' up and down weather.

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  3. Oh, DJan, what a shock to all of you and what a turn of events for you. No, that is not how you wanted to have fun in the sun. On the other hand it's good that you were already set to be with family.
    There will be lots of remembering and happiness and tears. I know you will all support each other through the grieving process.

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  4. I am so sorry, please give my best to Norma Jean. It is good that you two are together for a bit before traveling..no not the vacation you hoped for but you have two days to enjoy the sunshine and warmth.

    And then there were five.

    I know my Dad felt really bad when a sibling younger than him died.
    Take good care of you:)

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  5. My sincere condolences DJan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.
    PJ looks like a beautiful lady, losing a family member is something we are never prepared for.
    Hugs sweet friend.
    ~Jo

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  6. This is so sad, DJan, especially because she was still so young. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. You dear DJan and your entire family have my sympathies and loving thoughts. Giving you a virtual hug to help warm your heart!!

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  8. I am so very sorry for your loss DJan! Virtual hugs sent your way!

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  9. My heart hurts for you. I've not lost a sibling. I even still have my mom. I'm sure this will be a hard thing for all of you to deal with, but I can't imagine anything more healing for everyone than all of you being together. Safe travels. Treasure your time. Hug each other a bit more tightly.

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  10. oh i am sorry for your loss...i dunno what to say...losing famil is hard...i am glad you went on with your travel and that you can travel together to the funeral...

    hugs

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  11. My heartfelt condolences on the passing of your sister.
    PJ has always been on my mind and in my heart ever since I learned about her heart attack last fall.
    I am so very sorry, Jan.
    Love to you and your family,
    Jackie

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  12. Oh, DJan, I am so very sorry to hear of your beautiful sister's passing. My condolences for your deep loss. I'm glad yours is such a close family so that you can all support one another but it tugs at my heart to know how you and your family are hurting. Big hugs to you and yours. Be safe.

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  13. There is security with all the family. Arrangements are difficult to make. Yes, your plans were really turned upside down. I hope that everybody finds comfort in the support of family.

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  14. Quite a different time away from home than you were expecting. It's good you will be with the rest of your family.

    Thinking of you.

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  15. Oh DJan, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My condolences to you and your family. It is good that you and Norma Jean will be making the trip together. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  16. I am so sorry DJan to hear about the passing of your Sister PJ. It is fortunate in a sense that you and Norma Jean are together to support each other as you make your way to Dallas. I just lost my brother in July, the first of our "Six", to pass away. Please accept my deepest condolences, and know you, Norma Jean and Family are in my thoughts and prayers. Lilly

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  17. My condolences and wishing you well. There is never a good time for stuff to happen, it just comes anyway. Living to advanced years can be a mixed blessing. One lives long enough to mourn the passing of many others. It is so good to have large families to support each other.

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  18. Oh, DJan. I am so sorry to learn of PJ's death. Truly, not the kind of holiday for which you were planning. I hope that you will all be encouraged by each other's support.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  19. So sorry. But so glad you will all rally together to support each other and get through this. Yah! Life can change in a moment. Hug the people you love while you can and tell them you love them.

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  20. Sorry to hear. God bless, and safe travels.

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  21. That's a beautiful photo of her. That Sunday post was a shocker- you were wondering what the year of the horse would bring. & then the phone rings. A sad synchro. Be well.

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  22. Oh gosh, DJan. I'm reading backwards and I see now that PJ is your sister. I am so very sorry. What a terrible time. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  23. So sorry to hear that D-Jan. I've only just seen this post and it came as quite a shock. Take care and be safe yourself :)

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