Saturday, February 22, 2014

I miss my sisters

Norma Jean and me in Florida
It seems ages ago right now that we were together, but it was only a few weeks ago this picture was taken. I talked with Norma Jean on video chat just last week, but it really does seem like the events of the past month have receded quickly into the past. I downloaded some pictures from my camera, and I realized that the ones I took of the five of us together after PJ's memorial were forgotten in there. I spent some time editing and organizing them, gazing longingly at my siblings, wishing we were back together.

Was it just a little more than a week ago that I traveled home? Catching a cold and recovering from it took some time and energy, of course, but it just doesn't seem possible that PJ died this month, but yes, we are still in February. And all that has transpired since then.
Markee and Fia in Texas
I miss my other two sisters as well. Markee lives in Canada, and she's returned to her own life and job, while Fia has gone back to work at her job in a doctor's office in Fort Worth. They are very close to one another, too, and although twenty years separates me from Fia, we will always be connected by the threads of family. Now that one of us has gone, it feels poignant every time I think of our loss. Since PJ was not a part of my everyday life, I sometimes forget how drastically my family circle has changed.

My brother Buz and his wife Phyllis are on my mind, too; when I travel to the area I always enjoy staying with them and soaking up some of their good vibes. Although we are living in different parts of the country, I expect everything to stay just the same as it was when I was last with them, but that's not how life goes. So I'll continue to cherish my memories and hope we can get together again soon for something really positive.

By the way, about my last post: I have not found another person yet who normally clasps their hands together with the right thumb on top like I do. The link I found stated it should be 60-40. Are you an anomaly like me? Just wondering.
:-)

31 comments:

  1. i put my right thumb on top when i clasp my hands! :) but i also was against the norm when it came to folding my arms and whatever the other test was. :)

    i totally understand the shift in family circle. it doesn't really sink in for a while. especially when you don't live nearby, you almost 'forget' that the dynamics have changed forever. i hate it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I put my right thumb on top. I am right handed. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Left thumb on top for me. And isn't it amazing how difficult it is to reverse the habit - with that or with arm crossing.
    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm finally back in the US and have wifi!!! It will take me ages to get caught up on everyone's blogs. I tried clasping my hands and the right thumb was on top…when I tried to clasp with the left on top, I really had to think about it.

    I was glad that you were home again and feeling okay. I know it must have been difficult to lose a sibling. I thought of you as we landed in Florida…wondered if you were still here. We're on our way to the Keys for two days…then finally home.

    Love the picture of you and Norma Jean.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't clasp my hands much because of my arthritis but I think my left thumb goes on top.
    And yes, sisters and siblings. I am closer distance wise that you are to most of mine, but far enough that I don't see them that often. And yet the bond is very strong, and more so as we get older.

    ReplyDelete
  6. for the record...in recent trials (i just did it) my right thumb comes out on top..ha.

    i feel you on missing your sisters and family...being together at the funeral i imagine you did not have much time to think on it or for it to sink in...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm in the right thumb on top group, too. Until your blog post, I thought everyone did it that way! Now I find out I'm the only one in my family who is a top/ right person. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes, you have been through a bit in the last month. Now, the four os you have gone your separate ways, only staying in contact through technology. Which, I suppose, is better than nothing.

    Folded hands have left thumb on top. Hmmmm; does that mean Im a socialist? Let's not go there.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Left thumb on top. Know what you mean about missing your sisters. Since our get away to the Keys, I miss mine all the more even though we have all these handy media forms to stay in touch.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Far Guy and I both put our left thumbs on top.

    Grief is a stage...and you must get through it all...step by step. But you know that better than anyone else. It all takes time. You need to chat more with Norma Jean for awhile...that will perk you up! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am sitting here clasping my hands and now I can't decide what I normally do - goodness grief!

    hugs from me and the girls

    ReplyDelete
  12. A hug for you, Jan.
    I clasped my hands together. I am right handed, and my left thumb is on top. I tried putting my right one on top. Just doesn't feel right.
    I would have never though about it had you not mentioned it.
    Another hug for you....

    ReplyDelete
  13. I can only imagine how you miss your sisters, and your brother also. After Julie died, all of us were all together for days. The siblings and all their children were all at one house. Jim & I were at a hotel with my sis staying across the hall. Julie's dad and his wife were in another hotel, but we spend days and evenings all together. When we all left to go home, it was torture. We hated to separate.

    The things we discuss on blogs sometimes crack me up. If I clasp my hands, I naturally clasp with my right thumb on top. Left thumb on top feels wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Left thumb on top.
    I understand what you mean about long distance and family dynamics. I moved from GA to AK back in '83. My sisters and I talk on occasion but it's not the same.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Those are two beautiful photos of you and your Sisters DJan - and the distance that separates us. We have some great "facetime" giggles though, with my brother Donnie having just bought an ipad mini - HE LOVES FACETIME. I had just hung up the other morning and said our goodbyes and he insists we wave to each other when we "END" our video talk. OK, so I had ended the call and a few seconds went by and called right back and his first words were "did you miss me?" Just a silly little saying that brought much laughter. Ooh, he's a card n a half, eh - Take care DJan
    N - aboot tha other thing - Yah, I'm a leftie :) Have a wonderful day.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My heart goes out to you dear one!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm right handed with left thumb on top. Funny the things you do without ever noticing. These days I try to print off some of the photos I take of family get togethers. I like to have them in an album so I can easily access them and have them beside me as an aide memoire.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It is certainly understandable that you would miss your sisters. Even though I never had a sister, I always wanted one and was sure I had missed one of life's great bonuses. However, I have brothers, so I will enjoy that. Computers make it so much easier to close the miles and keep in touch with siblings.

    ReplyDelete
  19. When we are widely separated our lives become very different. Our family lives become somewhat static as we don't live with the 1000' of little changes that occur with the other family members.. I clasp my hands with the right thumb over!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Right thumb on top.
    Your recent trip must have been full of good times being with the siblings and yet some sorrow to have to say goodbye in this life to one of your dear siblings at the same time. You are still sorting your feelings and your emotions. Heck, I am still adjusting from having such a loving time with my son and daughter-in-law in January. You have beautiful siblings and you live a wonderful life with your partner in a lovely area of the country.Things are good even with the roller coaster ride we call life.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm a right thumber too.

    Oh. DJan, I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. I do envy your having so many loving siblings though. What fun to see you and Norma Jean having the same hair style. But yours is more silvery. I envy your color too.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Do you find that you get closer to your siblings as you get older? I know I do. If not geographically, at least emotionally. They're the only people you've known your whole life. Btw, left thumb on top, right arm on top. I'm mixed ... mixed up, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  23. What a tender and touching post. I'm sorry you're feeling blue and missing your sibs. I hope it won't be too long until you can get together with at least some of them again.. and for only happy occasions.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I've reached the age where funerals are the main time that my cousins get together. It is so nice that you cherish all your siblings so much. Not everyone can say that.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Somehow when we grew up we invested our energies in our new families and activities and not so much in our sibling ties. Then for a while any gathering with my siblings was torture. I think we may be mellowing again. I love the relationship you have with Norma Jean.

    Also: I'm right-handed and clasp my left thumb on top.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dear DJan, last fall I met and spent time with four children--ages 3 to 12--and their mother. Since then, I've realized that the next time I see them the mother and the two oldest children might be somewhat the same in appearance and actions, but the two younger children--3 and 5--will be much changed. And I'll miss seeing that change. I wonder if it will be hard to assimilate? I'm so glad that you and your family could all be together for the celebration of your sister PJ's life. That celebration will never change. It is a memory you can hold dear. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Right handed. Left on top. My brother passed this summer and a son fifteen years ago. We don't expect to outlive those younger...

    ReplyDelete
  28. My left thumb over my right.

    The other way is just weird. :-)

    I miss my sister, who lives just 45 minutes from me. There is always drama at her home (don't think much of her aggressive, judgmental husband!), and she rarely leaves it...

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm a right thumber, too. ;)
    Sorry you are missing family. Maybe you guys should plan a fun little family reunion this summer or maybe for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Right for sure.Buddy too:)
    Sorry you feel a bit sad missing your family especially sister. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

I really appreciate your comments! If you see a word verification box here, just ignore it. I don't use the darn thing and Blogger is trying to get us to use it, I guess. Ignore it and your comment will still appear.