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| My mama and grandma in the mid-1970s |
Grandma worried constantly about everything, and I remember so well telling her not to worry about me, everything would be all right, and I certainly wasn't worried. She tugged at the bottom of her ubiquitous sweater, looked at me crossly and said, "Well, you don't seem to realize. I have to worry; somebody has to!"
And now look what's happened: I have become a world class worrier. Every time I dwell on any decisions I've made, I second-guess myself and begin to worry that I have once again inserted myself into someone else's life and made a mess of it. This comes from years of having done exactly that, and now I find myself feeling a little like the centipede who did just fine walking with all those legs until someone asked her how she managed. Here is the poem, "The Centipede's Dilemma":
A centipede was happy quite,This poem is attributed to my old friend Anonymous. Somehow I find myself in the unenviable position of not seeming to be able to move forward because I've forgotten how to be spontaneous! I'll work on that.
Until a frog in fun
Said, "Pray, which leg comes after which?"
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run.
:-)
I think we women were born to worry. I certainly do enough of it! I remember when my son rode a bike at the age of about 17 and I worried about that. My friend at the time had a son with a car. I remember thinking, 'if only R had a car, I wouldn't worry about him falling off the bike, or worse.' One day I told her about my fears and she smiled wisely and said 'just wait til he gets a car and see how you feel.' When he eventually exchanged the bike for a car, I knew exactly what she meant!
ReplyDeleteLove that little poem. I can relate. I used to be a world-class worrier. Somehow, through a lot of practice at staying in the Now, letting go and trusting, I've gotten better. Not always worry-free, just a whole lot better. I don't know where you stand on this, but I see the Christ as a consciousness we all possess, our Higher Self, and so when someone once said to me, "Worry is denial of the Christ," I finally got it. I don't know if that's helpful or just me blathering. Isn't it interesting, how we picked up habits of thought through the people around us as we grew up? Then we have to unlearn it... :)
ReplyDeletethe lady who jumps out of planes and climbs the highest mountains has forgotten how to be spontaneous...i have no fear that you will find it once more...
ReplyDeleteWhat fun. At least you are aware of your problem. That's got to be half way toward fixing it.
ReplyDeleteBrian Miller makes an excellent point. There is a great deal of adventure and bravery in your nature, and with time you'll get that back.
ReplyDeleteI love that poem. I can relate. I am trying to fix that problem though. I realize that all the worry in the world does not stop anyone from doing what they want to do. I have a quote on my fridge that says, "Worry robs today of its strength." I also know that all the sayings in the world don't matter when your mind is locked in a worried state. Sometimes, it is just a process that must be worked through.
ReplyDeleteBrian took the words right out of my mouth (so to speak). You, the one who is able skydive with abandon, will also get your spontaneity back. Of that, I have no doubt. One day at a time...
Ah yes, Brian is so right. But I understand the worry gene. And live with it. But I don't think your grandmother was right. Nobody has to worry.. we chose to.
ReplyDeleteI love the Centipede's Dilemma. That's kind of what happens to me if I think too much about how to spell a word.
ReplyDeleteI come from a line of good worriers too, and I uphold the tradition. But I also try not to waste my worries on small stuff or things over which I have no control. However when it comes to my kids, there are no restrictions on worrying.
The main thing is that you recognize that you worry. I'll have to take your word for it. Once you know you do this you have a chance at modifying things. I think we need some stress from worry to keep us in the game.
ReplyDeleteI don't worry. I would be a better person if I did worry. My niece said on Face book today, "I'm a real Kline. I need pressure to get going."
There you are..you are turning into your Mother and your Grandma all rolled into one:)
ReplyDeleteI am a worrier too. Someone's gotta do it, so I figure it might as well be me...but, I'll gladly share some of it with you:)
ReplyDeleteNothing makes a worrier worry more than being told not to worry. That just tells her she has to worry for two.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I didn't imagine you to be an over worrier. I think you care a great deal, but you appear to be a doer and that is a wonderful thing. You see problems and you try to find solutions. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteDid I tell you how much I love your new header? It's so full of hope and good cheer!
ReplyDeleteI tend to be a worry wart myself, among other things. Don't worry, you're in good company. lol.
See, even in your poem worrying just paralyzes. I know you will let go of the worrying.
ReplyDeleteI guess you are like you parents. Most of us are. I don't think my dad worried about much unless he was divorced at the time. Then he scanned the Lonely Hearts Club newspapers looking for an old crow willing to ride a bus to meet him. Can you imagine that? Happened a lot. He actually married five of them. One even smoked a corncob pipe and called me "Abey."
ReplyDeleteHe was a what we call a worry wart. My wife and kids say I am one too.
Yesterday's post was the first time I've ever noticed you as a worrier. Usually I see you as spontaneous and engaged in your life.
ReplyDeleteI guess you're entitled, though. Your trip to Florida was a very big deal.
I think most of us struggle with worrying. There are a million methods out there to help deal with it. If I'm worrying about a specific thing I try to picture the worst case scenario so I can determine if it's worth worrying about. Sometimes it's also best to gather as much information as possible. For example, you can always ask Norma Jean if you pushed her when she wasn't ready. I've also discovered that sharing a worry is often enough for it to dissipate. Everyone is right-you'll work your way through this.
ReplyDeleteI love the new header!
I think worry gives us a sense of control - illusory though it might be. When I start to worry about something and can't make it stop, it's helpful to look at what I might be fearing, and that I have no control over. The fact that you could write this post tells me you're going to be fine.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once said that "worry is interest you pay on a loan you haven't borrowed on yet."
ReplyDeleteThough I would agree, I seem to be the worrier in our family.
You're not alone on this...I'm right there with you....always holding my breath for the next thing to worry about. Definitely in the DNA?
ReplyDeleteFemales worry. Men laugh at how and why we worry. It all comes back to women from Venus, men from Mars. But in the end, worrying doesn't accomplish much of anything.
ReplyDeleteTrish
www.synchrosecrets.com/synchrosecrets
Since you are aware of being a worrier, then you can work on it and think about other things – how wonderful your life is for example. I am not much of a worrier – I always feel that I am lucky and that everything will be all right.
ReplyDeleteIf we had a contest on who was the bigger worrier, you or I, it would be close :)
ReplyDelete