You win some, you lose some

First tulip of the season

I was more than a little surprised to see this lone tulip from someone's last-year planting, I suspect. There are few, if any, flowers in this garden, but I was so pleased to see that some are indeed getting there this year. Pretty, alone, and quite happily showing off its beauty right here.

I saw this yesterday, walking through the park on my three-mile walk home from the coffee shop. Actually, it was John who drove me to Cornwall Park after our coffee, and I ran into three old friends on the trail from prior Senior Trailblazer hikes from earlier years. We chatted for awhile, and then I came home, pleased that I wasn't in terrible pain and that the dreaded right leg/hip didn't seize up on me. Baby steps.

And today I went to the retina specialist's office for my every-other-month eye jab. I got dilated and processed quickly, and then escorted into the exam room. They had taken (as usual) images once the eyes are dilated, and there on the screen in the exam room I could see that image, along with two previous ones. Surreptitiously I examined them and looked and could not really tell what I was looking at. And then the doctor came in the room, looked at the images and shined a bright light into my eyes and declared that my eyes seem to be stable right now, and that I would have a choice: skip the shot today, or pay $400 for it. Apparently they receive several discounted injections that are sent to their office on a regular basis, and they had just run out of them, so I would need me to pay full price if I wanted to receive the shot today. He gave me an appointment for two weeks from now, and he said to call beforehand to see if they have any available. If they don't, I guess I'll bite the bullet and pay, but for now I am extremely happy to have dodged the needle for a couple of weeks anyway.

Since my eyes were dilated and I couldn't see anything, as usual, my dear sweet husband drove me home and now I am sittting here in my recliner as my eyes gradually return to normal. If I had received the injection, my eye would be sore and teary right now, but I am spared that for today. I suspect that with the way our health care system is changing right now, I might be forced to come up with that amount every other month. We'll see. I am just glad I am seeing as well as I am these days, and who knows what the future holds? In any event, I am sure happy to be home safe and sound and not needed to go anywhere else today.

Baby steps, right?

:-)

Flowering into spring

Magnolia blossoms

Walking home from my trip to the coffee shop this morning, I caught these magnolia blossoms looking quite lovely. There is another plant in bloom in the foreground, but I'm not sure at all what it is. At first I thought it was Oregon grape, but there are no open flowers to help me identify it. I know about the magnolia blossoms, though. They are out all over town, and I looked for a better picture, but realized that this will do well enough. Everywhere around town, there are flowers coming out to greet the longer days.

I also wondered the other day where the song sparrows were, since I hadn't yet heard their unique song. And then they were everywhere, serenading me while I am out and about. So, not only there are massive amounts of flowers to enjoy, the sound of various birds thrills me, too. I can no longer pretend spring isn't here!

I spent my time at the coffee shop enjoying my double Americano and a nice marion-berry scone. After playing the usual games on my laptop, and reading the news of the day, I briefly thought about joining the easier of the two walks with the Senior Trailblazers, but when I walked out to head to the Senior Center, it was raining. Again. Instead, I caught the bus home and took that picture in order to have something to liven up my post. I've got very little to write about, but after struggling to get going, you'll just have to be happy with a low-key, rather humdrum chronicle of my Tuesday. Tomorrow I've got a yoga class, and Thursday I'll be back at my usual volunteer lunchroom duties, and then I've got a massage scheduled for Friday. So it's not anything much, but it's all I've got today.

And then next Tuesday will be taken up with the scheduled eye jab. I can't help but think about it when it gets this close, and then I have to wait for hours after the injection before eyesight returns to what passes for "normal" these days. At least I still have my left eye's central vision and pray that remains for a while longer. It's still there, for now. Fingers crossed.

:-)

Happy birthday, sister

Stewart and PJ

I wondered what I might write about today, and thought about the date, and suddenly realized that it would have been my sister PJ's seventy-fifth birthday, had she not died of heart disease when she was 63. Here she is with her husband, Stewart, not long after her birthday in 2011.

PJ (her name is Patricia June) was born when I was seven. I still remember the day she joined the family, because when I learned that I had a second sister, I went into our backyard and climbed a favorite tree, spending some time trying to fathom how my life might change because of her birth. It didn't seem all that much, partly because I was always playing with Norma Jean, my sister who was two-and-a-half years younger than me. I suppose I must have had to babysit sometimes, but all that is lost in the mists of time. PJ, though, was a constant presence in my life from the time she was born until I left home at 18.

PJ was someone who read almost as many books as our mother. She always had at least one, but usually more, books open and being read. She was a true seeker of knowledge and spent much of her life taking care of others, raising two boys to adulthood, and volunteered much of her time to those less fortunate. She ended up with four grandchildren (I might have been a little jealous) and was always making her own jewelry and small pictures to give away. I still have some things she made for me; I can't really throw them away because she made them and they are all I have that still exists of her, but they are stuck in a drawer somewhere. That, and lots of pictures taken over the years. When I gathered to be with my siblings to celebrate her life, I wrote my own personal celebration of her life. Just now, I re-read it and remembered who she was to me and to all those whose lives she touched.

When someone has died, do we still mark the day as a birthday? Or is it simply a reminder that twelve years ago, she left this earth to start the next adventure? I wonder. There will probably not be a resolution to that question for me, but maybe once I am finally lying on my own deathbed and gazing at the faces of those sending me off to my next adventure, she might be there, peeking mischievously out from behind the others.

   Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. —Dr. Seuss

Two more sleeps

Jeff Barclay photo

I was wondering whether the Skagit Valley daffodils are coming up yet, and I found this picture on the Seeing Bellingham Group on Facebook. Jeff is a constant contributor to the site, and I have always enjoyed seeing his delightful pictures. The dark skies and brightly lit daffodils are incredible, don't you think? I know this spot because I always see it when I visit the tulips in April. This was taken three days ago, and I am so happy to see this scene. I am already looking forward to this year's Tulip Festival in the Skagit Valley. I suspect it will be a moderately average time for the blooms to show up. It's still too early for tulips.com to venture a guess.

It's just two more days before we experience the first day of spring. And I also suspect we won't have much more cold weather, although that's definitely not a given. I remember one year after we moved here when we had a foot of snow right here in town in April. It was almost like I hadn't left Colorado behind! That said, I don't think we will have a repeat performance of lowland snow this year. We already had a month of below-normal temperatures, but next week the forecast is for above average temperatures.

I am trying not to get too freaked out over the Social Security fiasco that is apparently emerging from Washington, DC. We are completely dependent on getting our checks deposited into our accounts each month, something that has happened without a hitch since we retired almost two decades ago. But now, who knows what will happen? They are cutting staff and closing offices all across the country. And I know we are not alone in needing our SS to keep on coming regularly. I am hoping that saner heads will prevail before it's too late to fix it. Sorry to bring this up, but I am puzzled and mystified by this and wonder if anything is safe anymore.

:-(

Spring is coming soon

Never takes long for these to show up

The wonderful spring flowers are coming along, some even showing their blooms. Not many, but it's only mid-March and we are still a few days away from the spring equinox. Timeanddate.com, one of my favorite sites to visit, tells me:

When is the first day of spring 2025? Thursday, March 20, the date of the spring equinox, marks the first day of spring in the United States. The spring equinox lands at 5:01 a.m., the precise moment the sun's rays shine directly on the equator.

We did, however, already go through the rite of spring that is known as Daylight Saving Time this past Sunday. It was the first time I needed to use my sleep mask that blocks the light and is also very comfortable to wear. By the middle of summer, I will be using it every night, but for now it's only needed when I decide to go to bed earlier than most people would imagine. But I really like going to bed early and getting up early. I seem to be needing more rest these days. I don't know whether it's permanently going to be like that or not. I almost always am in bed before my night owl partner, but there have been a few times lately when he's falling asleep before I have headed to bed. He's just now finishing his first month with his chemo treatment for low grade b-cell lymphoma. 

I didn't realize how many forms of lymphoma there are. He was diagnosed with it a few years ago, and having been fortunate not to grow any tumors, he hasn't needed any treatment for it at all, just frequent monitoring of his blood levels. A few months ago his oncologist said he would need to start some sort of treatment, as some of his blood levels had fallen low enough that he would be required to do something to keep him healthy. After lots of discussion about what is available, he decided to start taking a once-a-day regimen of pills. We both read about all the side effects, and although there are some scary things that can be expected, he didn't develop any of them. He is still the same guy, with the same sense of humor.

What's growing out of my ears?

He didn't want to eat these bananas unless he knew they were safe. After ascertaining that they were not toxic, we shared these guys and found them to be fine. (smile) There are many different things he needs to do to keep me from being exposed to the toxicity of the chemo: for one thing, he needs to put down the toilet seat before flushing to keep the fumes from becoming airborne and possibly affecting me. And I have to say that the packaging is scary enough, with warnings about the hazardous contents. But if these pills do the trick, he won't need to have infusions, which are the next best treatment, according to his doctor.

I wish there was some fancy drugs I could take that would clear up my eye problems, but there isn't. Nothing is going to keep me from going blind, but at least the injections I get every eight weeks are slowing the geographic atrophy of my degenerating macula. This getting old business is certainly challenging, but it sure helps to have a partner who is going through these days, weeks, and years of old age progression with me. 

I am also incredibly grateful for my virtual family, those of you who follow my life through my posts, and who share your own journeys with those of us who feel like family. I have been following some of you for decades and have gone through your ups and downs in life, just as you have been doing with me. Having grown familiar with the internet that connects us, I can hardly remember what life was like in the Before Times. 

I hope you will have a wonderful week before we meet here again next Tuesday. I also will be writing something on my other blog on Sunday, but it's a much smaller electronic world for me these days, and it suits me fine. Sending virtual hugs to everyone!

A new beginning

Lily and me at Evolve Restaurant

It seemed like ages since I had spent any time with my dear friend Lily, so we made plans to visit on Sunday. She is having some back issues, and I am still dealing with my own recalcitrant body, so instead of a walk, we ended up eating at the Evolve Restaurant and each having a beer. I like IPAs, and she likes lagers, so we were both very happy with our choices, along with our meals. I had avocado toast and she had a salad. Those two poached eggs on top of the toast were quite tasty and felt almost like an indulgence. It doesn't really matter where you eat out these days; it's getting pricey everywhere.

Today marks the beginning of a new era for me. I'm thinking it's time to stop hiking every week with the Senior Trailblazers. My eyesight is deteriorating and now, so is my body. After the fall a month ago, it has been like I've moved into another place, and it's becoming more of a challenge to go on anything very long or steep. I might be better after more time passes, but it feels really different. I'm going to find other activities that make me feel whole again. I know that it's possible, with some experimentation and by surrounding myself with good people whom I love.

It's also wonderful to have a community of people like me to hang out with. My time at the Senior Center is always gratifying, and I think I'll find new ways to volunteer, since I find it fulfilling and worthwhile. If my eyes were better, I'd again take up reading books, but I can always listen to them instead. I've been learning how to get  more information via the spoken word rather than reading. I'm ready for a new beginning!

Well, that was embarrassing

Foursome at the trailhead

Boy, did I ever make a mistake today. On a rainy and windy day, our leader Persis (in the blue above) took the four of us out to Stimpson Nature Reserve for a gentle almost five-mile walk around the Reserve. I've done this hike many times before, but today will be one I will never forget.

As you might remember, just three weeks ago, I took a bad spill on the ice and have  been recovering ever since. I did my first yoga class yesterday without any hiccups, so today I figured I would be able to do this rather gentle (and not too long) hike today. I was so wrong. Although there was a little initial discomfort in my back, it was miniscule and gave me false hope that I would be able to do it. 

Geneva Pond

I'm pretty sure that those of you reading this might know what occurred by the time we got to the pond, a little less than halfway around the shorter loop. (There are two loops, one harder and longer and one easier. We did them both.) Not long after I took this picture, I began to feel quite a bit of discomfort in my back, and I took some Advil. One of the women suggested that she and I return without making the longer loop, but I said I would be just fine. One of my least attractive qualities is denial. I wanted to be better so bad that I made these three women suffer along with me.

Corrine and Sue on the trail

Other than continuing to be drippy, the wind had died down and the only sound as we made our way back to the starting point was me, yelling in pain and downing lots of pills, hoping for some respite. They slowed down with me, but eventually I was lying in the wet moss on the side of the trail and crying, wanting the pain to let up. Somehow I managed to make it back to the trailhead, with the help of all these women. We took twice to three times longer than we should have, but what could they do? They couldn't very well carry me (though I pleaded for them to try), and now I am home, sitting in my recliner and feeling little pain, but it still hurts when I try to stand.

I know that many of you might have predicted this outcome, but I didn't want to believe I was still on the injured list. I am embarrassed that I ruined a perfectly good outing for them, and that I continue to make these unfortunate decisions. You can bet that I will be making some different choices in the future. Kudos to my dear helpers who didn't leave me behind, although I'll bet they did think about it.

:-)