Five days post-op

My Frankenstein look

Well, I'm through the hardest part of the Mohs surgery. If you want to see some gross and scary pictures, they are available from my Sunday post on https://eyeontheedge.blogspot.com/2025/08/cancer-is-gone.html. Now, just five days away from those moments, I am beginning to look almost normal. And even though the surgeon did take a hunk of tissue, I am now cancer-free. 

So now I can turn my attention to other aging parts of my body, right? I walked three miles this morning, and by the time I turned onto my street, my right sacrum had seized up and made it hard for me to continue. But once I rested a bit and put on my Big Girl pants, I kept going and finally walked up the steps, happy to be home. SG was at the dentist's office all morning, beginning his adventure of getting a couple of crowns and a bridge. He says the most troubling part of the whole thing is the expense. Too bad we don't live close to the Mexican border; I know some people who have gotten this kind of dental work done for a fraction of the cost he will pay. But it's something he's committed to doing, because he will be better prepared to face whatever the future holds.

My guy looks ahead and tries to ride the waves, and I am so happy to have such a partner. He takes great care of me, and he also looks for ways to avoid the shoals and sandbars that we will need to navigate through the coming storms, virtual and actual. The really good part of all this turmoil is that we are living in the best place in the US, if you ask me. 

Pretty flowers all in a row

I hope you are having a good summer, and that it's not terribly hot for you. I feel almost guilty that we won't even make it past 70 degrees F here today. It's been a great summer season so far.

:-)

Four little words

Snagged from Linda's blog

Ah, summer fruits! There is nothing that looks more delightful to my eyes than fresh fruit and veggies from a Farmers' Market. My friend Linda, who lives in Seattle, has a lovely collection of photos she took during a recent visit to a local Farmers' Market. I enjoyed the pictures so much that I asked for permission to use this one. Fortunately for you, the pictures cannot be eaten, which would destroy the beauty, don't you think? I love the bounty we have in the Pacific Northwest during the summer.

And so far, this year, we have only had a small assortment of really hot days. We are experiencing one today, Tuesday the 12th, but tomorrow promises to bring us cool and rainy weather. It will be the last day before my cancer surgery on Thursday.

There is not much else on my mind. By mid-morning on Thursday, I should have a better idea of how much this squamous cell carcinoma has invaded my neck. It could be just a little, or it could be a lot. The way Mohs surgery works is that a slice (a "shave") of tissue is removed and sent to the lab. This will continue until there are no more signs left of the cancer, and then you're sewed up, bandaged, and sent home to recuperate.

The four little words in my title? Well, they are "how deep" and "how wide" did it all end up being? At this point, nobody knows and the doctor will use her expertise to take up as little as possible, but still trying to make sure to get it all. It is not an exact science, but it is considered to be the gold standard in treating and removing skin cancers. I am told that the procedure will take all day and to be ready for it to be long and tedious. Each tissue sample must be evaluated before moving on to the next. And there are other people going through it as well, at the same time.

The month of August always seems to have been been a significant time in my life. I was pregnant during my first August as a married woman. My first son, Chris, was born in November, but he died on August 15th, many years later. My second son, Stephen, was born on the same day. There was a time when I had two sons, both living, during their August birthdays. Now they are both gone, and have been for a long time. But a mother never forgets those birthdays, no matter how long it has been.

Now that I have lived a full life, become an octogenarian, and have finally gone through the experience of having developed cancer, I have joined the myriad others who have gone before me. It might be just a blip, gone forever, or it might be the beginning of another journey. We are all traveling the timeline of destiny, whether we want to or not.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get so maudlin. I didn't sleep well last night because it was so hot, but I suspect that tonight I'll sleep like a baby. Next week will be here before we know it!

:-)

Got the referral today!

Typical Mohs surgery setup

A date! Although the dermatology clinic (Frontier) only received my referral yesterday, already today I have received detailed instructions on how my own Mohs adventure will proceed. The date is in nine days, August 14, and now all of my anxiety, relief, worry, and concerns have been allayed. Along with the help of a nice person who gave me all the information and sent me a link to the entire procedure, I learned that It will take all day, since there will be many of us decked out in gowns on our own separate guerneys. The way Mohs surgery works is they shave off a bit of tissue and send it to the lab. While that is going on, the surgeon has moved to the next person and repeated it again. This goes on from three to eight hours, with each patient hoping for their cancer to be sliced, diced, finished and gone. 

And I will hopefully be one of them, however long it takes. They do this Mohs surgery on both basal cell and squamous cell cancers. If you are unlucky enough to have melanoma, they do something called "slow Mohs" surgery. It takes longer to process the tissue, I guess.

I also learned that it is all done on an outpatient basis, using a local anesthetic to numb the area. I have a virtual friend who will be having Mohs surgery around her eye area. I wonder what causes the different places for a carcinoma to form. Is it genetics? I didn't think I would be featuring this myself, but why did I think that, since skin cancer is ubiquitous in the elderly. Nobody in my family, except my uncle Joe, ever died of it; we seem to be more likely to die of a heart attack or a brain aneurysm. As I age, I do wonder what body part will wear out first. My eyes and ears are not holding up well, but one can live without those two senses. Maybe not a great existence, but still.

It's kind of comforting to realize I will be part of a community as we await another slice to be shaved off our carcinomas and examined. I am looking forward to it! 

:-)

Ran into an old friend

Terry in her happy place

Yesterday, when I went to a midday yoga class, I had time to walk over to check out the Value Village across the street from the new Senior Center. And there in the store was my dear friend Terry, who I recently learned is moving back to Canada, where she was born and raised. I've known her from the Senior Center, where she worked behind the coffee bar for years, and is now recovering from surgery just a week ago. She was pushing along a walker, but I suspect she won't be needing it much longer. She looked strong and happy to be back rummaging the aisles of Value Village. Rarely have I gone to the store and not run into her there.

Years ago, Terry wanted to join me in a skydiving adventure, so she and I drove to Skydive Snohomish and jumped out of an airplane together. She was with one of my favorite instructors, Vlad, and he treated her to a jump of a lifetime. I followed them out of the plane and took her hand in freefall. Terry was so overwhelmed by the experience that she remembered little of the dive itself, but Vlad filmed it and she was able to say, later, that she did indeed have a great time. I remember that feeling of not being able to take in what was happening in the moment, but that had changed over the years to one of familiarity. It's been more than ten years since I made my last skydive and hardly remember much of those days. I have logbooks, some of which I peruse now and then, but that's like another person did all that, not this current version of myself.

One day, I suspect that all of the years of hiking will feel the same. Each segment of our lives has its moments, but if we are able to move on when time and circumstances change, it makes for a much happier life. 

I think I told you about the squamish cell carcinoma I had removed awhile back, and I have since learned that it will be a few weeks more before the Mohs surgery that will excise the cancerous cells from my neck. I wish it could be right now, but that's not how it works. First the biopsy wound recovers, and then the surgeon digs it all out. Apparently Mohs is used whenever the cancer is on the head and/or neck and requires plenty of tissue to be excised. Today I went to the doctor's office to have the biopsy looked at, to see how it's coming along. I called them because I was having difficulty with the bandage causing it to itch. The nurse decided I don't need a bandage any more, just clean it with soap and water twice a day and cover it with vaseline. I'll be glad when the whole ordeal is done and behind me. Until then, I am in good hands with my new dermatologist. I probably won't meet the surgeon until it's time for the deed to be finished.

That's it for the week's news. See you again next Tuesday with actual dates. At least that's what I'm hoping for. I sure would appreciate some virtual hugs, if you have any to spare. 

:-)

Exiting the Trailblazers

Taken at a happier time

It's a bit hard for me to think of no more weeks hiking with the Senior Trailblazers, but that time has finally come. I've been told that unless I can bring someone to hike with me who can help me with my failing sight, that it's not fair to the others for me to ask for help all the time. And I know it's right, but since it's been a part of my life for so long (since 2008), I have been reluctant to stop, even when I have leaned on others inappropriately.

Today I was politely asked to not show up for the hikes any more. I know I cannot continue to impose on others, but I've also thought that maybe I would be better today or tomorrow. Not so. It's a progressive disease that has attacked my eyesight, and I know better: it' just hard to give up something so important to me.

But what I am actually giving up is the ability to hike with others. I know all the hikes and have enjoyed the companionship, but I can still get on the bus and ride it to my favorite trailheads and take off at my own pace. There are only a few of the hikes around town that aren't accessible by bus. With the right mindset, I can see this as a new adventure. I'm no stranger to change, and learning to cope with moving on will give me a brand new frame of reference.

But there's no pretending that I am not sad, though, and wishing this pesky macular degeneration has not affected me so profoundly. This will also give me a chance to find new ways to stay fit and active. It won't be that long before I will no longer be able to use my laptop in the ways I am using it now, and it's time to get cracking on finding new avenues for me to follow. I have so many virtual friends who have learned to adjust, even some who have gone from active lives to wheelchairs, and they have managed the transition, as will I. At least my activities are simply changing, not fading away all at once.

Just sitting here and writing this post has made me feel more and more positive. Gratitude and peace haven't left me, not by a long shot. And I am feeling my oats, even if they belong to an octogenarian! For the time being, I will be continuing to write my posts on Tuesdays and Sundays, so you can find me here on those days.

Onward and upward!

:-)

Toastry HOT

We are in the midst of a heat wave, with an advisory for the entire area, but it's actually nothing compared to what some parts of the country are experiencing. It got to 85 degrees F here in Bellingham, the hottest temperature of the season so far. I had absolutely no desire to hike today, especially after my horrendously uncomfortable excursion last week. In fact, I almost didn't have the energy to traipse down to the basement with my week's laundry, but I did. I was quite exhausted afterwards, and it was nothing much, just the usual work of washing, drying, folding and putting it all together. I was surprised at how enervating it was, but it sure feels good to have it behind me. Tomorrow is a trip to the new Senior Center for yoga; the new place is air conditioned, so I think I'll be enjoying that. Then on Thursday is my usual volunteer work at the old place, which doesn't have A/C but it is supposed to be a few degrees cooler.

I am not a fan of hot weather, even warm and sultry weather is not fun for me. I much prefer a cool breeze and overcast skies, but then again, I am spoiled and not acclimatized to the heat. In any event, I am looking forward to some respite from the unrelentingly blue skies, which most people seem to love.

Foxglove

The flowers certainly do seem to love the weather, however, and I suppose if I spent most of the year underground, waiting for the chance to emerge and shine, I might feel differently. I love the pretty foxglove and am delighted when it shows its beauty. 

Hope you are having a wonderful summer, not too hot, not too cold. And that you are surrounded by fragrant and beautiful flowers!

(smile)

Fragrance Lake

Our hikers 

I was very lucky during our hike to have found so many new friends. We had eight women and one plucky man. The hike was led by Sandy, third from the left in this picture, taken by a passerby. It was cool when we started, but by the time we reached the lake, it was getting warm. Not terribly so, but definitely into the 70sF. We passed many other hikers on the way to (and from) the lake, and plenty of dogs, too.

Many wswimmers, both four- and two-legged

I had a hard time with the strong sunlight, with bright sun and shadow, making it hard to see my footing when we returned via the same trail. With the help of Kathy, one of the hikers, who held my arm and told me what I was seeing, I was able to make it back to the cars. I skipped the loop around the lake, but everyone else went, so I got their picture as I waited.

Sandy in front as they finished the loop

I certainly enjoyed myself, but when I got home, drank a bunch more water, I then quaffed a cold beer. I got distracted by reading the news and forgot to post this, so here it is a day late. Life is good and I'll try to be on time next week. 

:-)