tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post4989064819544354057..comments2024-03-28T17:23:47.590-07:00Comments on DJan-ity: Being yelled at and moreDJanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-83124298342143900592013-09-18T02:23:42.067-07:002013-09-18T02:23:42.067-07:00After such an angry outburst I don't think I w...After such an angry outburst I don't think I would be able to leave it there. I think , like you I would put my feelings down on paper and maybe send him a copy. Let's hope he reads your blog. I am assuming they were envious of your decision to go ahead and enjoy the weather they missed out on.Fun60https://www.blogger.com/profile/08084441984556826917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-64423604387974564002013-09-18T00:30:08.477-07:002013-09-18T00:30:08.477-07:00Catching up on my blog reading, I've gone in r...Catching up on my blog reading, I've gone in reverse order.. <br />I just commented on another post that good energy is contagious.<br />Well, negative energy can be, too! <br />I'm glad you spoke up & let out your frustrations at being yelled at. <br />No one needs that in their day, it sounds very out of line. I'd be upset to be treated that way, too.. and these things tend to eat at me until I process them like you have here. <br />I sure hope Linny's neck feels better soon!amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14413812739575222069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-38924735303591727252013-09-17T02:50:14.664-07:002013-09-17T02:50:14.664-07:00I've had similar problems with angry people. I...I've had similar problems with angry people. It may be helpful to note that some of them may be angry and frustrated with problems beyond their control. Alzheimers often elicits such responses....Or they may just be toxic people to be avoided. troutbirderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14087811292280881959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-63683960792776964562013-09-16T23:33:09.634-07:002013-09-16T23:33:09.634-07:00Sorry you had to go through something like that DJ...Sorry you had to go through something like that DJan. Yelling never accomplished anything. If this man disagreed with your group's decision to go hiking under those conditions he should have discussed it in a calm manner. <br /><br />I hope Linnie is feeling better.SquirrelQueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00634513897599275287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-2623573814047430322013-09-16T20:26:36.947-07:002013-09-16T20:26:36.947-07:00Oh DJan, you so don't deserve such miserable t...Oh DJan, you so don't deserve such miserable treatment by anyone, much less a so-called leader. It seems that yelling at other is going around lately. <br /><br />My older son was in a McDonald's in Alberta when the guy in the next line was paying for his meal. He wanted a larger fries with the deal he ordered and was upset over having to pay a dollar extra for the upgrade. <br /><br />He started yelling and swearing at the young women behind the counter and my son spoke up and told the guy to calm down and just leave quietly. They guy kept yelling and my son kept trying to diffuse it. <br /><br />The guy (very large and muscular) turned and punched my boy (slight, but strong build) in the chest - thankfully not with his full strength but enough to bruise him. The guy seemed to calm down some after that and spoke less threateningly to the staff and soon left. <br /><br />The manager took my son's contact info. The owner soon phoned him and asked him to come in to the store and decide whether or not he wanted to press charges. If so, she would hand the store's video tapes over to the police. He decided to do that because as he put it, the guy can't just go around punching people because he's having a bad day and not expect consequences of his behaviour. <br /><br />My son made his statement and the owner gave him a $100 gift certificate for his getting involved. The most shocking part to me is that my very health-conscious son was eating in McDonalds. ;)<br /><br />I am sorry you went through this. I hope his weakness won't allow you to lose another moment of sleep.<br /><br />And I hope your friend heals quickly.Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12787493532006658679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-69465344146251761992013-09-16T12:31:31.549-07:002013-09-16T12:31:31.549-07:00Good grief! I can just imagine how I would have f...Good grief! I can just imagine how I would have felt if somebody starting yelling at me that way. Do you feel better now?<br /><br />If not, do you think you could sit down with this yeller later and tell him how you felt. "I was really taken aback when you yelled at me in front of everyone." Explain further how you felt, why your entire group decided to take that hike, and how you would like this yeller to handle this situation if it crops up again. At least then you could get it off your chest in a calm way.<br /><br />On the other hand, if this is a crazy person, I don't know if this would work. I'm glad you don't belong to that fellow's groups. How awful!<br /><br />I couldn't believe all that controversy after the Nyad swim either. I felt really awful for her!Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07461569436322815787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-26216319448451455702013-09-16T10:31:53.338-07:002013-09-16T10:31:53.338-07:00We all have bad weeks and that was yours, by the s...We all have bad weeks and that was yours, by the sound of it. A truly horrible week; but it has passed and I do hope the week that follows will be better for you.Stella Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06699491230987143490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-64371544598977773282013-09-16T09:07:50.825-07:002013-09-16T09:07:50.825-07:00Dear DJan, I'm so sorry you had to experience ...Dear DJan, I'm so sorry you had to experience that tirade, which seemed to be directed at you. I become a little girl, cowering in the corner, when someone yells at me. Or "gives me the finger' when I'm driving. <br /><br />Those experiences can ruin a day--and a week too if we obsess over them, and on the few occasions this has happened to me, I have obsessed. So I'm glad that you can put this into perspective and be gracious to yourself. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-50038339468397480482013-09-16T03:25:16.283-07:002013-09-16T03:25:16.283-07:00To attack you like that in a public place only sho...To attack you like that in a public place only shows he has some serious anger problems. Be happy that he is not your leader and that you aren't the one who has to go home with him. <br />I hope this post took some of the stink off. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-14637050886813296132013-09-15T21:34:59.820-07:002013-09-15T21:34:59.820-07:00Sorry you have had such a rotten time, DJan. Getti...Sorry you have had such a rotten time, DJan. Getting yelled at and a hurt friend. That is a lot more than anyone should have to deal with.<br /><br />Blessings and Bear hugs. Rob-bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00171692478879522588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-49953270106290446072013-09-15T19:42:48.748-07:002013-09-15T19:42:48.748-07:00The anger dude? It's HIS issue, not yours. We ...The anger dude? It's HIS issue, not yours. We only empower people like that when we dwell on it, mull it over. Forget it, write it off. Trish and Rob MacGregorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02846270474176860924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-3934471078105849132013-09-15T17:43:32.986-07:002013-09-15T17:43:32.986-07:00Like you told us in your post and again today--the...Like you told us in your post and again today--the bad weather did not arrive. You guys would have turned around if it had. Angry people need to take it out on somebody, but I know it really stresses me out to be yelled in any way. It was a group decision and you weren't forbidden to go or anything. Some people!<br /><br />I hope your friend is okay. And I hope you have a better week! *hugs* :) Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043285884495492598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-38591009138728325732013-09-15T12:45:25.221-07:002013-09-15T12:45:25.221-07:00Damn! That guy sounds really nasty! Grrrr!!! I hop...Damn! That guy sounds really nasty! Grrrr!!! I hope you feel better after having written this, venting sometimes does help quite a bit! :o)<br /><br />Big hugs!!! :o)CrazyCrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17512240982215608638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-41844849325615782782013-09-15T12:37:01.099-07:002013-09-15T12:37:01.099-07:00My experience with such a person (the yeller) tell...My experience with such a person (the yeller) tells me that if someone approached him about it after the fact he would deny every aspect of his behavior. Of course I don't know this guy, so who knows how he'll behave. Glad you stood your ground and didn't escalate things, but sorry you had to take the brunt of it with no support from others. And now, may you have a great and peaceful week! Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17223278142557533175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-5256161843556154512013-09-15T08:48:12.590-07:002013-09-15T08:48:12.590-07:00What a horrible experience to be so put down! Wond...What a horrible experience to be so put down! Wonder what he ate to be so out of control. <br />He actually must have lost a lot of respect behaving so foolishly!Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174142810114806410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-47167637259864969462013-09-15T08:11:46.091-07:002013-09-15T08:11:46.091-07:00Such a shame that some bully felt the need to chas...Such a shame that some bully felt the need to chastise you like that. I know it is hard, but don't let it get to you. He should feel ashamed. Sounds like he is just a big jerk. Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858158707328118375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-69341132690307681502013-09-15T07:47:16.221-07:002013-09-15T07:47:16.221-07:00I would have marched right up to that guy and told...I would have marched right up to that guy and told him to stick it in his ear! What a grumpy gus. I don't like anyone that hollers at people or shakes their fingers at people either or slams fists on the table. Childish for sure. <br />Hope you are all better now. Poor Linnie I hope she recovers fully:)Far Side of Fiftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07995757632158408442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-84824715059967465432013-09-15T07:02:32.073-07:002013-09-15T07:02:32.073-07:00I know what you mean about the anger hanging aroun...I know what you mean about the anger hanging around you all week. When things like that happen, it stays with me also.The child in you remembers. <br /><br />So strange how he needed to justify somehow that he did not go by getting angry at you. <br /><br />Even in a bad week you are able to put a positive spin on things.Kelly @Try New Thingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14783473072507979007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-53339548566778397942013-09-15T04:31:58.603-07:002013-09-15T04:31:58.603-07:00I think you did yourself justice in ways that only...I think you did yourself justice in ways that only those of us who 'know' you by your blogging, by writing your story and perhaps helping you to get it out of your system.<br /><br />You're kind-hearted, to be sure, and I can only imagine how that ranger made you feel. Thing is, why oh why did the finger pointing be directed to YOU?!! <br /><br />It will take a while to forgive and forget. Just try and not take it personally. And I know that is easier said than done.<br /><br />Hope your friend recovers!!!Hootin Annihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08811326085498312568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-4229051315374757262013-09-15T04:29:27.232-07:002013-09-15T04:29:27.232-07:00I would feel that a person of your experience and ...I would feel that a person of your experience and your groups experience judged the weather, took the appropriate safety precautions and prepared for the hike well knowing from experience what to look for - you could always have turned around on each others sound advice if the weather element appeared to disrupt your hike.<br />I would have been shocked if someone had verbally attacked me like that. You, being the wiser person slowly backed away while he went on and on. Cudos to you DJan for handling this; at that time, the way you did. Sounds to me like he was ANGRY alright and focused on you ( a small, kind, well liked and trusted, well focused person) - kinda like the bully we all experience in our lives, Eh. Perhaps this insulting individual should attend a seminar on how to approach and talk to people in a quiet, polite manner. Honey, you are probably not the first person to feel the brunt of perhaps a deeper anger in him. He just sounds like an angry person. You handled the situation well - he would owe you a public apology in front of your hiker friends, but anger like that usually is the underlying anger of a deeper problem. Best to let it go and I see by the remainder of your post - the sun shone and brought you good weather to frolic in the air with your buddies. Hope Linnie's neck is feeling better soon. Best regards, Eh - Lilly LilliStJohnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06771499579700164919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-18095337275071476932013-09-15T00:29:59.712-07:002013-09-15T00:29:59.712-07:00Gee, what a week you have had. I would have felt ...Gee, what a week you have had. I would have felt shaky myself, if someone had yelled at me. I liked this post, though, because it was different from your previous posts. It let me know what was going on inside you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-5391385674239366282013-09-14T22:50:28.815-07:002013-09-14T22:50:28.815-07:00I'm so sorry that happened, DJan. Angry people...I'm so sorry that happened, DJan. Angry people have a way of pushing their usually very misguided beliefs on the unsuspecting. I had it happen a few weeks back with someone who hadn't done their own work and got in my face instead. Like you, I chewed on it a LOT and it made me more and more angry. I have determined that I will distance myself from them at the appropriate time, which isn't now. Just knowing that gives me a sense of control and peace. Maybe you can think of what you might do in a similar situation in the future because, with a person like this, it may happen again. Could you turn on your heel and leave? Could you ask some of the people who were there that day but didn't seem to defend you if next time they might be willing to speak up? You weren't leading a group of preschoolers up a hill. These were all thinking and responsible adults. They made their own decisions.<br /><br />I have to agree with your commenter who said yelling man was a terrible example of a leader. I wouldn't let someone that angry and inappropriate lead me across the street. I hope writing about it helped you vent but a plan of action is also very empowering. <br /><br />And Diana? I have purposely ignored the news. She's a heroine. If the current was with her then God be praised. She did it. The End. I think your yeller would be in good company with her detractors. Any success takes something away from them.Robynn's Ravingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02619286823020924023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-67692822086575009462013-09-14T21:06:10.451-07:002013-09-14T21:06:10.451-07:00Wow! You missed getting struck by lightening on t...Wow! You missed getting struck by lightening on the hill but you sure got it from the leader. I don't understand how anyone can speak to someone else in that manner... I also don't understand why no one would step up and stop it. Big hugs sent your way...wendyytbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11958628213008688022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-68309775202559140292013-09-14T20:11:05.358-07:002013-09-14T20:11:05.358-07:00Whew. I think I've caught up with all of your...Whew. I think I've caught up with all of your adventures and misadventures now. You've been up and down mountains and up in the air a bunch!<br />What a shame to have been verbally assaulted over a day you cherished so much you called it miraculous. I can't help but think there was a bit on envy that the other group missed out on your wonderful experience.<br />I hope Linnie is recovering.<br />Linda Reederhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665601809156707572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050996142546962834.post-29682125048173767632013-09-14T20:06:22.373-07:002013-09-14T20:06:22.373-07:00When I first read that you had been yelled at, my ...When I first read that you had been yelled at, my first reaction was, "Who would yell at DJan?" I mean really, who would. I am sorry you were targeted for this attack. That seems very unfair. In the end, you are all adults. You made an informed decision. I am glad you were safe. I'm sure he felt better after he yelled, but then he left his anger on you. That is what people who can't control their anger do. As far as I'm concerned his reaction was abusive and insulting. He should be spoken to by those who put him in a leadership role. Obviously, he don't know how to handle his role well. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.com